My Story...

I've been wanting to be a mom for a very long time! I actually have a strong feeling that I was created just to be a mommy. I've always been a nurturing person and bossy to boot! (Isn't that what Mom's are made of ;D ) Well, in the spring of 2006 my husband and I decided that it was time to become parents. It was a very exciting time! In no time we got pregnant and found out our due date was December 17, 2007. We had a great time being pregnant...now I say we because even though I was the one that had the warped body and nausea, he was the one that had to deal with my cranky, hungry butt so WE were pregnant :). On the last month of my pregnancy I began feeling bloated, tired, had trouble breathing and I had what seemed the worst flu of my life to boot! I told my OB about my symptoms and she said that it was normal and that I was over reacting. And so I took her word for it. When my cough got worst and I just couldn't sleep, I called my Dr and she told me to take some robitussin and stop worrying that my due date was fast approaching. So I "maned up" and tried to survive. On December 2nd, 2007 after I had a very satisfying dinner and had just finished watching "Desperate Housewives" I went on yet another trip to the bathroom. That is when I discovered that I had what they call "bloody show" so I called the on-call line and the Dr on call told me to head to the hospital. He said that it was most likely normal but that he wasn't taking any chances. When we got to the hospital my cough was back...UGH! When they hooked me up to that usual monitors and unusual thing happened...the nurse couldn't find my daughter's heartbeat. After several tries I was having issues keeping up the hopes that is was my daughter's usual avoidance of detection devices...she never liked them you see. Well, after an ultrasound we were told the worst news I have ever received "Well, I have nothing good to tell you" said the OB, "she's gone, I don't know how or why, but she's gone and what's worst you need to calm down because your health is at danger now" well I couldn't get past the "she's gone" part, less than a week ago she had been telling me how everything was "normal" how me and my daughter were "perfectly healthy" and now she was gone? But I was only 2 weeks from my due date!


Well, we had no real time to mourn just then. The doctor went on to explain that I had inexplicably developed preeclamsia and that my blood pressure and heart rate were so high at the time that I was close to having a ceasure and that we had to make a decision as to how to deliver. My husband and I looked at her completely confused, you see it seemed at the time that my health was deteriorating very quickly and I was only 1 cm dialated...so why would anything but a c-section make sense? So we went on to telling her what we thought and she sent in a nurse with paperwork. At this point I began complaining that I was having issues breathing. After filling out most of the paperwork, the OB came back and noticed I was having trouble breathing (yes they had listening issues) and rushed me to the operating room. Long story short... approximately 2 hrs and one blue code later they were able to stabilize me enough to deliver my daughter and I woke up in the ICU intubated realizing it hadn't all been a horrible dream.

So what went wrong? It turns out I was affected by a condition called Peripartum Cardiomyopathy or PPCM it affects 1-3,000 women in the US every year and my Dr didn't figure it out in time to save my daughter...as a matter in fact the Drs said I was minutes away from death...on this I don't doubt them.

Well in some parts of the whole situation I've been one of the "lucky ones" because even though most women with PPCM get to keep their little ones, only a small percentage recover. My heart healed in 3 months! After a year of medications, strict diet and exercise, and life saving therapy (because as you might imagine I had a major case of the blues) I was able to begin talking baby again. In March of 2009 my cardiologist and I decided it was time to get off my meds! In April I had a follow up echocardiogram and my heart function is still going strong! Last week I got to say BYE-BYE to my IUD, and today I had my last cardio appointment before I go back for my first trimester echo! That's right...I got the green light!


And so begins my tirp down mommy lane (again!)!